My husband loves them, but I oppose them ideologically. Fortunately for both of us, a diplomatic taxi driver solved our problem

Last modified on Monday, December 13, 2021 at 13.59 EST

I like to think of myself as a generous person with tight pockets, rather than someone with a blind spot in a bar. One of these pockets is around grocery delivery services. You know: you need a green pepper, there is a strong wind outside, so you let a poor child ride a bicycle to the supermarket to give you, some miracles of modern capitalism, your pepper is only 30 pence more expensive than it is under normal circumstances, as long as you pay Order ice cream.

What bothers me is not money, but the underlying Marxist truth-if some of us refuse to do any trivial tasks of our own, others will eventually do all the trivial tasks for everyone. In addition, we live next door to the supermarket, and I am not even exaggerating, except for a small amount.

On the other hand, Mr. Z likes grocery store service. In order to give him the right to reply, he would argue that I outsourced more trivial tasks than he did, and I would reply... No, wait, I can’t give myself the right to reply to what he imagined.

In any case, we have this argument at least twice a day, so it is only a matter of time before we put it in the taxi, and I want to bring the driver in. "My husband," I said in a somewhat serious tone, "I really like gorillas, although I don't approve of them."

"You don't like gorillas?" he asked suspiciously.

As they said on Wikipedia, I stopped to disambiguate.

"It's like the penguin in Japan," the driver observed after eating our beef. "He goes to the fish shop every day and they give him a fish. He has a backpack." We stopped and found the penguin on the Internet. When we saw 10-year-old King Penguin Lala go shopping alone, we had reached our destination.

There is a question mark about who the driver agrees with. In my opinion, if a penguin can go to the store by himself, then humans can buy their own stupid green peppers. According to Mr. Z, he. Or more precisely, how can you argue about such a thing when the miracle penguin exists?

The driver’s genius diplomacy, in other words: five stars.

Zoe Williams is a columnist for the Guardian